Peer Review for Wonu

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
3점! 에세이 형식에 모두 잘 맞고 논리성도 뛰어나다.

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
다 좋아요... Refutation이 좀 더 강하면 좋을 것 같다
Thesis
What is the thesis?
Eating sugary foods is surely worse for children than for adults.

Is the thesis clear and debatable?
네

If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
worse 보다 좀 더 구체적인 걸로? 좀 더 자극적이다라고 하거나

 Any other thoughts?
no

 
  Classical Argument

Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
다 있음
 
Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis? 
네 인트로가 정말 좋습니다 :)

 Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
네.

 Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
네

 Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
조금 적긴 하지만 괜찮다

 Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis? 
네

 What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
다 잘 썼어요

 Persuasion

When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis? 
agree
 
When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
agree

 If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
no. 많은 자료를 적절히 잘 활용해서 설득력있었다.

 How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
딱히...



  Research
Is the author using research effectively? 
네 

Is the research from appropriate sources?
네 

Are the sources obvious?
네
 
Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
네
 
Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
refutation이 좀 더 강해도 좋을 것 같지만 지금도 충분히 괜찮다.